Here we are in week three of the Sober February experiment and things are… fine. They’re fine! They’re absolutely totally fine. Fine, fine, fine! (If you are looking for other updates on this subject, you can stop because there aren’t any.) I took a break for Valentine’s Day and overindulged, which resulted in a massive migraine, but it was all worth it for that champagne. My tolerance right now is the same as a very small toddler’s. Some replacements to drink while all of your friends are drinking delicious wine: cream soda, kombucha, green juice, ginger ale, tea. Right now I am feeling a weensy bit stressed out because I have several balls in the court and all of them are requiring my attention at the same time. When I started this month, I thought I would be more productive or happier or healthier somehow but all of those things are not true. I think I’ve actually been eating worse and going to the gym less often, which doesn’t make any sense at all. I did sleep better during the first week but now I am having dreams about my teeth falling out. I guess the best thing of all about this experiment is realizing that there is the option to either not drink or stop drinking when hanging out with other people and not try to keep up with everyone because my liver is a poet and a fool and does not know that it is inherently lazier than its peers. That’s a good lesson to learn. But I could really go for a glass of wine right about now.