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The other day I went to Duane Reade and picked up a pair of fake eyelashes and a set of fake nails and went to the counter.
The clerk, a guy about 25, picked up the eyelashes as he was bagging them. “What do you need these for?”
“Oh, well…”
“You don’t need these! Look at you! Are you wearing fake eyelashes now?”
“No.”
“You don’t need these!”
“Thanks.”
“Why do you need these?”
“Oh, well, I’m buying them for Halloween.”
“What are you going to be for Halloween?”
“Lana Del Rey.”
“Who is that?”
“She’s a singer.”
“Is she pretty?”
“I guess it depends on your taste. Maybe you’ve seen her on the ads for H&M?”
“Nah, I dunno.”
“Yeah.”
“You know what I’m going to be for Halloween?”
“No, what?”
“I’m going to be The Grinch. You know, from Dr. Seuss?”
“You could use fake eyelashes for that! He’s got pretty long ones, you know.”
“Nah, nah. I think I’m good. Natural talent.”
