the cat and the banana
CAT: HOLY SHIT.
CAT paces around, eyes wide, fixed on a single point--the plate in my hand.
CAT: HOLY SHIT. HOLY, HOLY -- WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
I stare down at my plate, where a banana reclines luxuriously.
CAT: I CAN'T EVEN -- WHAT *IS* THAT?
ME: It's a banana.
CAT: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. WHOAAAAAAAAAAA. Back UP. Banana? BANANA? It's YELLOW, man. Did you see that it's yellow?
CAT sniffs the plate.
CAT: Wait, give me that.
ME: You can't have the banana. It's for me and it's because I'm on the BRAT diet because I have the stomach flu. I can only eat four things today and this is one of them. You can't have it.
CAT sniffs the plate again.
ME: This is toast. I'll give you some of the toast if you want. Would you like a piece of toast?
CAT examines the small nugget of toast and rubs his head against it.
CAT: Fuck no. Gross.
I place the plate with the banana on it down. CAT sniffs at it then positions his torso over my hands and sits down on the keybaoda08saf'DFSDSA%%%%%%%%%%%
a bright wall in a dark room.: Exit Through the... →
brightwalldarkroom: BAD ARTISTS COPY. GOOD ARTISTS STEAL. by Michelle Said The picture is fuzzy. At first it is unclear what we are seeing. The camera keeps zooming in and out haphazardly and eventually we realize that we, or the camera, has been placed high up on a building. Suddenly we come into focus on a… I can’t even begin to explain how many times I changed my mind about...
The Sophisticates #18
thesophisticates: This week: The Logic of Pennies (2:25) Gender-specific Bathrooms (15:34) Structured Procrastination (25:44) Leave comments/retorts/suggestions by clicking the header, subscribing to the podcast on iTunes or following @sophisticast on Twitter! If you would like to be a guest on the show, feel free to send us topic submissions and we’ll find a time to have you on! Download...
a bright wall in a dark room.: A Valentine's Movie... →
brightwalldarkroom: by Chad Perman If you decide to watch a movie on Valentine’s Day - and we here at BWDR obviously strongly recommend that you do - choosing one can be a bit of a minefield. The straight-forward Hollywood rom-coms of the past twenty years (at least) are usually god awful, the predictable and… If you’re looking for something to watch tonight, look no further!...
“PAY ATTENTION TO ME I’M BEING ADORABLE,” he says, and I have no choice but to oblige.
fact: cats are antithetical to productivity
BEFORE CAT HOPS ON MY BED: I have all this writing to do and I will definitely do it. And it will definitely get done. Immediately! I am being so productive! This is amazing! I can hardly believe how much I am getting accomplished right now. I can do anything! I will do anything! Anything in the world will be mine if I just put my head to it! AFTER CAT HOPS ON MY BED: OOOOH KITTY COME SNUGGLE...